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Authors > Roc Ros > Rodney Dangerfield

1-10 Quotations of 61

Rodney Dangerfield quotes

American Comedian, 1921-2004

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“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.”
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“I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.”
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“I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up”
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“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
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“My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.”
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“If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all.”
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“I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.”
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“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.”
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“My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.”
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“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.”
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