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“The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)

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“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Men and Women quotes, Men quotes, Women quotes.
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“You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)
Similar Quotes. About: Men and Women quotes.
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“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)
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“We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)
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“I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.”
Will Shriner quotes (American Comedian, b.1953)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes, Death and dying quotes.
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
Similar Quotes. About: Humor quotes, Funny quotes, Hate quotes, Jobs quotes.
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“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions”
Elayne Boosler quotes (American Comedian and Activist. b.1952)
Similar Quotes. About: Mankind quotes, Wilderness quotes, Guidance quotes.
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“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
santiz Dr. Seuss quotes (American Writer and Cartoonist best known for his collection of children's books. 1904-1991)
Similar Quotes. About: Friends quotes, Friendship quotes, Family quotes, Confidence quotes, Uniqueness quotes. For: Birthday quotes, Thank You quotes, Just Because quotes.
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“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.”
santiz Bill Hicks quotes (American Comedian, b.1961)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
George F. Burns quotes (American comedian 1896-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Drinking quotes, Humor quotes, Funny quotes.
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