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“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.”
ariel Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)

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“Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $16M for two people who for eight years couldn't remember anything.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Politics is just show business for ugly people”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.”
Jenny0103 Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.”
Ladyofcathal Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
Drew Carey quotes (American Comedian, b.1958)
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“You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so that researchers can find out what makes pig manure smell so bad. You know who I feel sorry for? The woman who applied for this job and got turned down.”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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“If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology”
Jay Leno quotes (American TV Host and Comedian, b.1950)
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