Thinkexist Quotations

My Account Help

Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!

Quotation:

“Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.'”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
About: Funny quotes, Comedy quotes, silly quotes.
Add to Chapter...

1-10 Quotations of 81

Users who liked this quote also liked:

“I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break.”
santiz Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes. About: Work quotes, Laziness quotes, Comedy quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I was walking by a drycleaner at 3a.m. and there was a sign that said Sorry, we're closed. You don't have to be sorry. It's 3a.m. and your a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, hey I was here at 3a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology.”
rachel2007 Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street... It's a way to open shit...”
jengeegs Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes. About: Food quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did you get that banana at...”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

“You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.”
Mitch Hedberg quotes (American Comedian, 1968-2005)
Similar Quotes.
Add to Chapter...

Suggested

> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes

ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2016