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“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back”
Henry Youngman quotes (English born American Comedian and Violinist, 1906-1998)

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“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.”
Groucho Marx quotes (American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977)
Similar Quotes. About: Best friend quotes, Funny quotes, Animals quotes.
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“That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me”
Jerry Seinfeld quotes (American television Actor and Comedian, b.1954)
Similar Quotes. About: Christmas quotes, Spirit quotes.
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“Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.”
Chris Rock quotes
Similar Quotes. About: People quotes.
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“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
Jack Handey quotes (American Comic Writer, Comedian and Actor on SNL. Famous for his Deep Thoughts, b.1949)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.”
McNolia Groucho Marx quotes (American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977)
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“Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

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“Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
santiz
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“Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.”
Nancy Cartwright quotes (American Actress, b.1957) Character: Bart Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes
Similar Quotes. About: Christmas quotes.
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“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen quotes (American Actor, Author, Screenwriter and Film Director, b.1935)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”
Groucho Marx quotes (American Comedian, Actor and Singer, 1890-1977)
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