Thinkexist Quotations
My Account Help
Add the "Dynamic Daily Quotation" to Your Site or Blog - it's Easy!
 
QuotationsAuthorsTopicsKeywordsContributors My Quotations More...

Jack Handy quotes

    I Like this quote I dislike this quote

“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”

 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...

See also

Jack Handy said: "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance,..." and:

    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteIf God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what He's getting

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes. About: God quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteThe difference between a man and a boy is, a boy wants to grow up to be a fireman, but a man wants to grow up to be a giant monster fireman.
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteI hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching.
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteIt takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteWhy do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...

Users who liked, "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance,...", also liked

    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteInstead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteIf a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteIf you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteI remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
 dmg

 Jack Handy quotes (American Writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003. Famous for his Deep Thoughts comedy sketches.)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...

dmg contributed: "One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance,..." and:

    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteOnce you can accept the universe as being something expanding into an infinite nothing which is something, wearing stripes with plaid is easy.
 dmg

 Albert Einstein quotes (German born American Physicist who developed the special and general theories of relativity. Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. 1879-1955)

Similar Quotes.
 Add to Chapter...
    I Like this quote I dislike this quoteMarriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail.
 dmg

 Dan Castellaneta quotes (American Actor and Writer, b.1958)
Character: Homer Simpson quotes. TV Show: The Simpsons quotes

Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
 Add to Chapter...

   
Suggested
> T-Shirt quotes
> funny quotes
> famous quotes
> movie quotes
> sayings
> proverbs
> funny sayings
> Inspirational Quotes
> Cute Quotes
> Friendship Quotes
> Motivational Quotes
ThinkExist.com Quotations
Privacy & Security Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | About us | Press room | Contact us | Help
Copyright ® ThinkExist 1999-2016